Boffins Assert the Safety of a 1,697-Year-Old Wine for Consumption

In a remarkable revelation, scientists have confidently declared that the world’s most ancient bottle of wine, boasting an impressive age of nearly 1,700 years, remains safe for consumption.

This antiquated libation, affectionately known as ‘The Speyer Bottle,’ cradles within its glass confines a delicately pale yellow liquid, a testament to its extraordinary longevity. Its unusual preservation method involved a blend of wine and olive oil, ingeniously employed to safeguard its contents from the ravages of time.

Remarkably, instead of a conventional cork, the bottle was sealed with wax, a choice that allowed it to withstand the vicissitudes of history, enduring the fall of the Roman Empire, the Tudor era, and even the tumultuous events of World War II. The bottle’s origin traces back to the year 325 CE, aligning with the reign of Roman Emperor Constantine.

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The discovery of this awe-inspiring relic took place in 1867 during an excavation in the present-day city of Speyer, Germany. Today, this 1,697-year-old marvel is showcased with great reverence at the Historical Museum of the Palatinate, also situated in Speyer.

Curious tourists, tempted by the allure of a sip from this ancient vessel, need not fear any adverse consequences, according to experts. Boffins contend that the 1.5-litre bottle has effectively lost its ethanol content, resulting in a transformed and solidified texture. Wine professor Monika Christmann offered her insights, stating, “Microbiologically, it is likely unspoiled, but it would not gratify the palate.”

These remarks were shared in a discussion featured in the pages of the esteemed scientific publication, Futurism. Even among wine enthusiasts, reactions to the aged vintage have been mixed.

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Julissa Padilla commented, “That didn’t age like fine wine.”

Tony Ashworth playfully quipped, “Even if they crack it open, it’ll still surpass a bottle of 19 Crimes a hundredfold.”

Paul Standing, with a touch of humor, suggested, “I may not be a wine connoisseur, but I think it might require filtering through a fine mesh.”

Henry Pinney jestingly remarked, “It probably tastes like any other wine, suitable only for drizzling over a plate of chips.”


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